


Forgive, but Never Forget

by Soheil



Category: Fablehaven Series - Brandon Mull
Genre: Angst, Book 4: Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary (Fablehaven), Canon Character Death (Sort of), Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 16:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soheil/pseuds/Soheil
Summary: At the funeral, they had told him that they didn't blame him, but Warren knew the truth. He knew it all too well.It was his fault Kendra was dead.





	Forgive, but Never Forget

Warren remembered the exact moment when everything began to go wrong, and it would probably be ingrained in his head for the rest of his life.

At the funeral, they had told him that they didn't blame him, but Warren knew the truth. He could see questioning look in Stan's eyes. _Why didn't you save her? You should have saved her!_

Seth had looked even worse. His face was blank, completely devoid of emotion, with sunken, bloodshot eyes. _You did this to him! Kendra had died right in front of him. It's all your fault_! Warren hadn't been able to stop it.

Kendra's parents had thought she had died from natural causes. A premature stroke, the doctors had concluded. Even under the guise of that carefully crafted lie, Warren couldn't stand being there. It was still all his fault. He had asked Trask for a mission, a mission that was supposed to give him hope, but instead, the man had shook his head and told him to at least stop by the funeral.

Warren was seriously questioning that advice. Turning away from the group of mourners he had drawn there, he trudged through the slush. Warren didn't deserve to grieve. Kendra was dead because of him. And even if she was alive, even if some miracle happened, wherever she was, she would be suffering because of him.

Leaning his back against the cool metal of his car, Warren pulled off his right glove with his teeth and unlocked his cracked phone, smiling grimly at the single message from Trask. **SEARCH DETAILS,** it read. Finally, something to do. Unlocking his car, Warren slipped into the driver's seat and closed the door behind him. Inhaling sharply, he sank into his seat. This was all your fault! He needed to fix this, even if he knew it couldn't be fixed.

When Elise had alerted him earlier, Warren had been catching up on the hours of sleep between each guard shift in his small rental house, not too far from Kendra and Seth's home. Most of the other guards caught up on their sleep here, too, or at least stopped by to grab a bite to eat. Right now though, he was the only one. Less than two hours into his break, his cell phone had rung, and Warren had groaned, still half asleep, and swept the phone off of the side table onto the floor. Mercifully, it was silenced, and Warren sank back into the covers, enjoying the sudden quiet. Then the incessant ringing began again.

"Okay, okay... I'm coming!"

Warren grumbled as he reached for the phone while still in bed, successfully answering the call but accidently falling off the bed in the process. He landed on the floor with a thud. Elise's quietly scathing voice came from the other side of the call.

"I hope I didn't disturb your sleep, your highness."

Warren rolled his eyes and stifled a yawn, running a hand through his hair.

"Of course not! I'm definitely out of bed."

On the floor next to the bed, to be precise, but Elise didn't need to know that. He squinted at the display on his phone and suddenly yelped out loud.

"What was so important that you needed to wake me up at 2:30 in the morning?"

He got up and began to straighten his covers, oblivious to the fact that he should have been out the door already. _Maybe if he had, he could have saved her._

Elise's calm voice had jolted him back to reality.

"We need to call the Knights in, Warren."

A cold hand of fear clutched at his heart.

"What happened? Are they okay? Did some-"

Warren's mind raced, thinking of impossible scenarios, ones that ended in his worst nightmare. _The one he was now living through. The one he failed to prevent._

"It's not that...",Elise said hesitantly, as if she didn't know whether to tell him the rest of the story.

Warren began throwing on clothes and shoving things in his pockets. He grabbed a sword, lying on his kitchen countertop, and slid it into a sheath.

"Elise, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, I swear I will break 50 laws coming over there."

He frantically rifled through his drawers to find his car keys, keeping his phone balanced on his left shoulder.

"Warren, calm down! They aren't hurt!"

Elise's voice cut through the haze, freezing him where he stood.

"Well then, what in the name of Bahmut is wrong?"

There was silence on the other end, and Warren began to think that the call had been dropped.

"Hello?"

"Kendra snuck out of the house, around one."

Warren looked up confusedly, bringing the phone closer to his ear, worried that he had misheard.

"Kendra? Wait, that's not right. Is she okay? Are you-"

"Yes, I'm positive it was Kendra. And that's not all. She sent a letter."

Warren set the phone down on the countertop and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans. That couldn't be bad, could it? Maybe she had wanted to get in touch with a secret boyfriend or...

"... Warren?"

He took a deep breath, and slid into a chair, closing his eyes.

"Warren Burgess, you'd better not have fallen asleep!"

Warren glared at the phone.

"Please do go on about this oh-so suspicious letter."

There was a pause, when Elise debated what to say.

"Well… after she delivered it, I made sure she got home alright and then I left a detector here, so I could go get it. It's to someone named T. Barker? From Illinois?"

His pulse quicked. Detectors had been given to all of the bodyguards in preparation for a situation when you didn't have time to get back up. They would let you know if anything had stepped inside the house. Warren hadn't even taken his out of the cardboard box yet. If Elise thought this was that urgent...

"We don't know her, do we?", Elise asked hesitantly.

Warren prayed that Kendra hadn't done anything stupid.

"Elise, none of that is important. What does the letter say?"

He heard the shuffling of paper as she pulled the letter out of the envelope.

"It's bad. You need to get over here. Now."

Warren grabbed his keys again and checked his gear one last time.

"What does it say?", he asked again urgently.

"I can't say over the phone! Just get over here as quick as possible!"

Warren pulled up further down the street from the Sorenson's house, and jogged to Elise's car, which was parked closer. The drive had be thankfully uneventful, though his mind had been speculating wildly. He knocked gently on the car window, which Elise rolled down just a crack.

"Password?"

Okay, it never hurt to be careful, but this was overkill.

"Grunhold. I know it's you! Tell me what happened."

Elise rolled her eyes.

"Celebrant. Good morning to you, too!"

There was a pause when they both glared at each other. Then Elise smiled apologetically and rolled down the window fully.

"Here's the letter. It doesn't look good for Kendra, Warren..."

Warren flipped the envelope open and pulled the handwritten note out. He read it quietly out loud.

"Dear Torina,

They keep a close watch on me here. I'm not sure if I'll find another chance to forward more info. I'm unsure whether they have the phones tapped, so I'll probably stick to mail. By the way, so far so good. Nobody suspects, although Seth has been a pain. I have key information. They found one of the artifacts! The Chronometer is in their possession at Fablehaven! They also have a journal from Patton Burgess. He claims to know the location of other artifacts. Those locations are not described in the journal, but are hidden at Fablehaven in a secret room beyond an area in the dungeon called the Hall of Dread. I'll try to write again if I learn anything essential. Before I finish here, I will try to hide Patton's journal near the old tree house at the creek along Hawthorn Avenue.

Faithfully yours,

Kendra Sorenson."

Warren stared harder at the note, shaking his head, as if willing it to change.

"Kendra didn't send this. There's no way she could have betrayed us!"

His voice had risen in volume, from a whisper to almost a normal tone. Elise gave him a dirty look and glanced behind them. Thankfully, they were alone.

"Keep your voice down! Warren, I saw her send it myself. I don't want to be the one saying this... But I think we should take her in."

Warren immediately shook his head.

"This isn't Kendra's fault. There's got to be some other explanation. The Narcoblix?"

Elise held up her phone.

"I already called Stan and let him know about the situation. The blix is contained. We don't know what else is wrong."

He stepped away from the car window, feeling strangely disoriented. It shouldn't have bothered him so much. After all, any of them could have been blackmailed or mind controlled. This, though, this felt like partially his fault. He had been watching Kendra earlier that day. She had been fine. Or had she?

He shook his head again, and turned to Elise with a determined look on his face.

"We're not taking her in."

Elise sighed and started to protest, but Warren held up his hands.

"Just hear me out, okay?"

She pressed her lips together and gave him a short nod. It wasn't that he didn't trust Elise, but he needed to check for himself if Kendra and Seth were okay_. If you hadn't done that, she would have lived! Was seeing her that last moment worth it, Warren?_

"I'll go into the house, talk to Seth. If he thinks anything's wrong, I'll also have a chat with Kendra. Otherwise, I'll order pizza. Hawaiian," he joked, trying to ease the tension a bit. And he really had wanted pizza.

Elise glanced at the house one more time. It looked quiet, as if completely oblivious to what lay inside.

"Planning on ringing the doorbell?", she asked sarcastically, glancing skeptically at him.

He rolled his eyes and took that as his cue to go, sticking the letter in his pocket, checking his weapons, and then vaulting over the simple wooden fence into the backyard. Staring up at the house, he realized he didn't know which room was Seth's. He sighed. It looked like he was going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.

Making his way across the uneven sidings to the top right window, Warren was pretty sure Elise was laughing at him. He had started towards the bottom left, methodically peeking into the house through each window. Of course, the one he needed would have been the last one.

He carefully balanced on the tiny ledge outside the window. It had been a while since he had done so much free climbing. If he fell now, there would be no harness to catch him, no net to break his fall. He forced himself not to look down, and busied himself with removing the screen from the window. He didn't want to break the window, but if it came to that, there was no question that he would. Setting the screen on the shingled area of roof above him and praying that it didn't fall, more importantly, that it didn't fall on him, Warren ran his nail against the cool glass, shivering slightly.

Inside, Warren could see Seth glancing blearily towards the window in the dark, and then wrapping the covers even tighter selling himself.

"Come on, Seth, get up, get up!" he muttered under his breath, running his nail across the window for a second time.

The kid sat up this time, definitely more lucid. He moved to open the window for Warren, then hesitated. Warren nodded slightly in approval. At least they could be sure Seth wasn't compromised. He leaned back to give him a clear view of Elise, who waved up at Seth. He opened the window, allowing Warren to creep into the room, and then shut the window behind him.

The room was small, but there was something so inherently Seth about it. Football posters hung from the wall, and a small lava lamp cast a greenish glow in the wall. Seth was still glancing at him warily.

"You're not going to turn into a goblin and try to kill me?" he checked.

Warren almost felt like laughing, but given the circumstances, that probably wouldn't be the best way to convince Seth that he wasn't an insane magical creature.

Instead, he whispered quietly, "It's really me." Then he reconsidered as a thought struck him.

"Although you probably shouldn't have let me in, even after seeing Elise. The Society would stop and nothing to get you."

And they might already have Kendra, he almost voiced, but he didn't want to alarm Seth further. And Kendra was probably fine? Right? Seth considered this, then nodded.

"Should I get Kendra?"

Warren almost began shaking his head violently, but instead settled for holding up his hands in caution.

"No, I approached you like this so we could talk in private."

Warren had bit his lip as he tried to figure out how to phrase the next question. Are you sure your sister isn't possessed? Are you sure she isn't a changeling? Are you sure she couldn't secretly be a member of the Society?

"Elise and I are concerned about your sister. Have you noticed any odd behavior recently?"

Seth bit his lip and toyed with his bedspread, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"She wasn't herself today. Mainly it was my fault. She caught me snooping around her room and went ballistic."

Warren almost breathed a sigh of relief. Of course, there could be an easy explanation for it all! But that still didn't explain the letter…Unless Seth was in on it,too. Whatever **it** was. He eyed the kid slightly suspiciously. Had Seth seemed strange, in any way, tonight? He weighed his next question in his head.

"Did her reaction seem extreme?"

Seth considered this.

" I shouldn't have been in there," he admitted, "She had the right to be mad. But yeah, it was extreme."

Warren nodded in agreement. From what it sounded like, Kendra wasn't acting herself at all. It was a relief that whatever had happened, it hadn't spread to both the siblings. Or Seth was just acting really well. He pushed that thought out of his head. If this was going to work, he needed to trust Seth.

"Kendra snuck out of the house earlier tonight, a little after one. She went over the back fence. Elise was on watch. She spotted Kendra and followed from a distance."

Seth looked extremely confused. The kid definitely wasn't acting.

"Kendra knows she isn't supposed to go anywhere without you guys. Why would she try to give you the slip? It isn't how she operates."

Warren sighed and nodded.

"You're right, it doesn't fit her behavioral pattern, but it gets much worse. Elise followed your sister to a public mailbox, where Kendra deposited a letter. You understand, Seth, our mission is to protect you from outside influences, and part of that mission includes protecting you from yourselves."

Seth began to look more and more apprehensive, and Warren really couldn't really blame him.

"Once Elise made sure that Kendra was safely back in the house, she verified that I was on guard and returned to the mailbox," he fibbed slightly.

He wasn't sure if he should mention the detectors, but he wanted to make sure Seth felt safe. Or as safe as possible when your sister might be mind controlled. He continued on.

"She got inside, located the envelope Kendra had mailed, and checked to see what information it contained."

Seth interrupted at that, looking slightly uncomfortable. "You guys go through our mail?"

Oops. He had thought they had known that.

"Routine screening," he reassured. "We have to make sure you don't accidentally leak compromising information. Especially when a letter is mailed under such suspicious circumstances. We don't check the mail you send through us to your grandparents-just communication to outside parties."

Seth relaxed slightly after that.

"I assume Kendra messed up?"

Warren pulled the folded envelope from his pocket and handed it to Seth.

"The message she sent was no mistake. Have a look."

He grabbed a flashlight out of one of his pockets and shone it onto the letter. He studied Seth's face carefully as the kid took the letter in shaking hands and read the words on the envelope.

"Any idea who this is?" Seth asked him confusedly.

Warren shook his head.

"Not clue. Doesn't ring a bell?"

Seth considered the question, then shrugged.

"I can't think of any Barkers. As far as I can recall, we don't know anybody in Illinois."

Warren studied his face carefully. Seth definitely wasn't lying.

"Read the letter," he sighed, waiting for his reaction .

Seth's eyes skimmed through the letter, his jaw dropping. He turned to Warren.

"What is going on?"

Warren shook his head, staring at the letter in Seth's hand.

"Good thing we screen letters, although we never expected a note like this. Imagine the consequences if this message fell into the wrong hands."

Seth held the letter closer to the flashlight, inspecting it from all different angles.

"It looks like her handwriting," he confessed hesitantly.

Warren nodded, forcing the words out of his mouth.

"I am confident that Kendra wrote it."

There was no other way it could get to her hand to be delivered. As he started to think more about it, the worse the situation seemed.

"Is Vanessa out of the Quiet Box? Maybe she was controlling Kendra in her sleep."

Seth was throwing out theories, just as he had.

He shook his head.

"We considered the possibility and contacted your grandfather. He checked. Vanessa remains in her prison. But that sort of thinking may be along the right lines."

"Somebody must be blackmailing her or controlling her. She would never just betray us! Not on her own!" Seth burst out. Warren was almost relieved to hear that Seth agreed with him.

"I agree and I can't imagine that she would. Yet it is tough to read this letter and not see a deliberate attempt at crippling betrayal. Elise doesn't know Kendra very well. She wants to take her into custody," he sighed.

Seth stood up, eyes wide and alarmed.

"She can't lock up Kendra!"

Warren held his hands up in defense. That had been his reaction, too, but he had to be the devil's advocate for now.

"Simmer down. I'm not saying that is the only option. But whatever the method, given all that is at stake, immediately silencing Kendra has become necessary. I don't want to incarcerate your sister, but we have to get to the bottom of this."

Whatever this was. Even though Warren was worried about Kendra, he was supposed to prioritize the information leaked as just as important. That didn't mean he had to like it.

Seth look conflicted.

"Do we confront her?" he wondered, "Spring this on her and watch how she responds?"

That... Actually wasn't a bad idea. Asking Kendra about what she had done would let them gauge her reaction. They would just have to be careful and quiet about it.

"I'd love to hear an explanation," he admitted, "I haven't managed to conjure up a reasonable one."

"Unless somebody is using mind control."

Seth tried to cover up his anxiety by acting confident, but he wasn't fooling anyone. Warren honestly felt bad for him. How would anyone feel if your cousin snuck into your house, saying your sister had betrayed everyone? He would probably feel like crap, too. He shrugged it off.

"After reading that letter, nothing would shock me. Whatever we do, we mustn't disturb your parents."

Seth stared at him in confusion. He clearly hadn't thought they were going to talk to Kendra now, but the sooner the better.

"You want to confront her right now?" he asked.

"We can't wait on this. Besides, moving now should catch her off balance. If she's a little groggy, it may help us extract honest answers," he apologized.

Seth nodded a few times, then got up and motioned for Warren to follow him.

"Okay, you're right that we don't want to wake Mom and Dad."

Warren smirked.

"They don't appreciate strange men visiting their home in the middle of the night?"

Seth chuckled, even thought there wasn't much funny about it.

"It wouldn't be a good scene."

Warren shook his head.

"Let's go find out why your sister is mailing potentially disasters letters."

He ran a hand through his hair and followed Seth out of the room.

The hallway was dark, giving the encounter an appropriate atmosphere. He involuntaryly shivered as Seth tried the lock on Kendra's door."Locked," he mouthed. He leaned close to Warren. "We don't need a key. Just a pin or a paper clip. Something skinny to poke in the hole and pop the lock."

Warren nodded and held up a finger to wait. He intentionally slowed his breathing. He needed to be thinking clearly when he entered the room. Patting down his pockets, he finally found the lockpicks he had shoved in them earlier. Holding his breath, he selected one and slid it into the narrow doorknob. The lock clicked echoing in the loud hallway. Warren closed his eyes for a second longer than a blink, hoping, wishing, **praying** that Kendra was okay. He didn't want to watch his cousin be branded a traitor. _Of course, looking back, that would have almost been preferable._

Warren shoved the tools in his pocket and strode quickly into the room, Seth hot on his heels. His heart leaped into his throat when he saw Kendra sitting cross-legged on her bed, reading a sheet of paper.

She was okay. She looked normal, fine. She was okay. She had to be.

She stared at both of them perplexedly.

"What is it?"

Seth closed the door with a quiet snap and Warren found his voice.

"You're up early," he remarked, staring into her eyes.

She avoided his gaze, instead focusing on folding the paper. First, into careful halves, then halves again. She set her jaw and looked up.

"I've had trouble sleeping."

Warren was torn by indecision. Kendra looked and acted like Kendra, but the letter was undeniable proof. She had sent it. He couldn't figure out why.

"We need to talk," he said.

Kendra shifted uncomfortablely, fingers fidgeting with her bedspread.

"Why?" she asked, a hint of defense in her voice. There was something very, very wrong.

Warren held his breath. Glancing back at Seth, he pulled the letter out of his pocket and waved it in front of Kendra.

There. He could see it now. This was not Kendra. The realization chilled him even more than the night air had. Her eyes screamed anger and fear as she glared at him, as did willing him to disappear with the letter. He backed up a step.

Then, suddenly, as quickly as it had started, the feeling was gone and Kendra's face looked only mildly offended.

"How dare you go through my personal—!"

Warren cut her off, his eyes wide. This wasn't right. None of this was. He tried to force the panic out of his voice.

"Don't even try it. I need honest answers right now or we're carting you away. There was nothing personal about this note. It was naked treachery. Why, Kendra? We need an immediate explanation."

He shoved his hands further in his pockets, barely trusting himself to breathe as she pflailed for a response. She squeezed her eyes together in anguish.

"Bu- we- I wasn't sending it to an enemy!" she cried out.

Warren's breath was coming in short bursts now. He ran a hand over his face, chosing his next words carefully. The girl in front of him looked like his cousin, the girl who had saved him, practically his little sister, but everything was just wrong. So right and so wrong. He still couldn't believe it.

"I never said you were," Warren replied slowly. "Sending this type of information to anyone outside our circle of trust would qualify as a major betrayal. I've never heard of Torina Barker. Who is she?"

Kendra looked slightly more desperate now.

"Please, Warren, you have to trust me, you know I would never—"

Warren grit his teeth and scoffed. He couldn't believe this. It was beyond terrible. Kendra couldn't have betrayed them.

"'I will try to hide Patton's journal near the old tree house at the creek along Hawthorn Avenue,'" he forced out, trying to calm himself down.

He lowered the letter and tried not to look completely destroyed. How could this have happened? This couldn't be Kendra. But it was too much like her, with am her mannerisms. Seth had noticed it ,too. He was shuffling his feet in front of the door. He shouldn't have to go through this.

"You're right, Kendra, I would never have suspected you capable of this kind of disloyalty. Explain yourself."

He decided to give her a chance to reason with them. In the end, it would probably be the only chance she got.

He didn't say what he wanted to say. He didn't plead with her to say something that made sense or tell her everything was going to be okay. Because it wasn't. And it was all his fault. He should have stopped her from getting compromised. It was his fault she had betrayed them all.

Kendra's mouth opened and closed like a dying fish. She turned her wide eyes to Warren, looking at him with pain. He flinched.

"Please, Warren, don't ask more questions, I had to do it, they made me, I can't explain," she whispered quickly, urgently.

He stared at the girl. There was something off with this picture, something just not quite right that he couldn't place. Unless... This wasn't Kendra at all.

"This feels like an act. Seth?"

He turned back for confirmation. Seth took a shaky breath and nodded.

"She's lying."

Kendra's expression morphed into pure anger.

"I can't believe you would treat me like this!" she said with venom in her voice.

Warren laughed disbelievingly.

"What I can't believe is how clumsily you keep jumping from tactic to tactic!"

He forged further.

"Who am I speaking with? I'm not convinced that Kendra's mind is behind these words."

Kendra- no, it wasn't Kendra, stared at him with desperate eyes.

"It's me, Warren, of course it's me. Remember how I helped restore you from being an albino? Remember how we faced that three-headed panther with Vanessa? Ask me anything."

That sounded more like a list than an encounter of the actual events. His stomach was jangling nervously now, and his hands were clenched.

"Then why did you forget the combination to your locker?"

Kendra furrowed her brow.

"What?"

This was one thing that stood out to him now. Kendra knew everything that she should have about him and Seth, but she had forgotten her locker combination. It had seemed so insignificant at the time.

"I was watching you at school today. You had to go get help from the office to open your locker. Why?"

She looked at him unsteadily.

"Why does anybody forget anything?" Kendra protested, her voice unsteady. "The numbers just slipped my mind."

Seth spoke up now, his voice quiet but sure.

"Why did you come home early from day care?"

Kendra bit her lip, staring angrily at the two of them, as if she couldn't believe this was happening. Warren couldn't either.

"Rex was out sick. The lady replacing him said she didn't mind if I ducked out early."

Seth nodded slowly and took a step towards the bed.

"That is not a very Kendra-like thing to do. You're right, Warren. This isn't her. I don't think it has been her all day."

Warren could only hope that they weren't too late. He fingered the handcuffs he had randomly stuffed in his pockets as Kendra started to speak again, her eyes pleading with them. He avoided her gaze.

"I'm your sister, Seth, you've got to believe me, even if he doesn't!"

Seth took an involuntary step back and waved his finger in the air.

"No. You are definitely not my sister. Know what you are? You're a pig! I've never seen anyone down so many Cocoa Krispies!"

Warren wasn't exactly sure what Seth was talking about, but he took advantage of the situation by grabbing Kendra's arm while she was surprised.

"I need you to come with me, whoeveryou are, until we can ensure you have released your hold on Kendra's mind," he whispered harshly, holding her arm tight.

She gave him an arrogant smirk and, before he could stop her, slapped a hand to her lips and swallowed. Warren's stomach dropped.

He let go of her arm and forced her onto the bed, swabbing out her mouth with his finger. They couldn't lose Kendra. No matter what.

She laughed mockingly below him.

"Too late, Warren," she taunted, coughing, "Quick-acting, leaves almost no trace. Everyone will think it was a stroke."

No. This couldn't be happening. Warren froze, his hands just above her face.

Seth moved forward with striken wide eyes.

"That was poison?"

Kendra pouted at him and nodded.

"No more big sister. Hope you two are," she started gagging and then recovered, "are proud of yourselves."

Warren couldn't move.

Kendra began to seize.

Seth grabbed Warren's shoulder.

"Do something!"

He forced himself to move forward and grab Kendra by the chin.

"Whoever you are, you will pay for this."

He swore to that. On his life. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't.

"Doubtful," she choked out, giving him what could be considered a grin, but was more a grimace.

Then suddenly, everything went still. As if in a trance, Warren lowered his hand to her neck.

"She's not breathing."

No. No. No. This wasn't happening. He pressed an ear to her chest. Nothing. He could hear his blood thumping in his ears, but nothing from Kendra's body. No sign of life.

He forced himself to his feet, starting compressions on her ribs, gagging when he felt ribs crack beneath his hands. He didn't care. Kendra couldn't be dead. He forced breath into her mouth and restarted his compressions, knowing that CPR couldn't restart a person's heart after they had been poisoned. There was nothing he could do. Seth was breathing in loud, panicked breaths behind him, stifling sobs. He held his hand under her nose, wishing to feel another breath, no matter how faint. His wish was not granted.

He moved a hand across her face, gently closing her eyes. Now, she looked like she was peacefully sleeping. Not dead. She couldn't be dead. But she wasn't breathing. And there was nothing he could do.

He backed away and turned to Seth.

"Seth, I don't know what to say."

Actually, that wasn't true. He knew exactly what he wanted to say _I'm sorry. It's my fault. I couldn't save her. I'm so sorry._

Seth stared up at him with tearstained cheeks.

"You better leave," he forced out, between sobs, "Mom and Dad can't find you with her like this."

This was all his fault. _If he had guarded hey better. If he hadn't confronted her. If he had been faster to save her._

"I should have …"

Warren's voice broke and he tried again.

"I didn't realize …"

His voice trailed off as Seth moved closer to his sister's body. He gently touched her cheek.

"Who could have seen that coming?"

Even as tears ran down his cheeks, he tightly gripped Kendra's hand, as if to keep her with him. He was much too young to watch his sister die. _This was your fault._

Warren let him stand next to Kendra in peace for twenty minutes while he carefully stood next to the door, listening for any sounds. At the twenty minute mark, he gently laid a hand on Seth's shoulder. Seth turned to him with glassy eyes.

"Why... why did she have to die?"

Warren's stomach twisted.

"Seth..."

"It's not fair."

"Seth."

He gently removed the kid's hand from Kendra's and pulled him into a hug. Seth sobbed quietly into Warren's chest.

Warren reached over him, and tucked Kendra in, wrapping her covers around her carefully. At least her parents wouldn't know how terribly she had died.

Seth wasn't sobbing anymore, but tears still flowed freely from his eyes. Warren pulled away and lead him carefully to his bed.

"Seth, listen to me carefully."

Seth looked up at him with teary eyes.

"It's going to okay, I'm going to tell your grandparents what happened and we're going to figure this out. Everything's going to be okay." But how could it be okay when Kendra was gone?

At this point, he couldn't decide whether he was talking to Seth or himself.

Seth shrugged and climbed into bed, closing his eyes. Warren took a deep breath and opened the window. The screen was thankfully where he had left it, and he carefully placed it back on the window.

And then all of a sudden, it hit him. This would be the last time any of them would see Kendra again. The Society had stopped at nothing to get to her and he hadn't been able to stop them. None of them would ever be able to stop them. They had been fighting a losing battle without even realizing.

Kendra had killed herself in front of him and Seth. Whoever had been controlling her mind had asked him if he was proud of himself. That voice echoed in his ears now. He would never be able to forget it.

Warren closed his eyes, his breath starting to come in rapid bursts. He suddenly needed something to hold on to.

He gripped the gutter with one hand and covered his mouth with the other, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. It didn't calm him down as much as it should have. He opened his eyes carefully and started to make his way down the wall. Suddenly,

_"Hope the two of you are proud of yourselves!_ "

Warren clamped his hands over his ears, tightly, eyes burning. It was all his fault. He had killed Kendra. He almost didn't register a sharp pain on his wrist until the wind was knocked out of him. In a haze, he heard a car door slam. He coughed quietly and tried to get up.

A helping hand supported his back while another jerked him to his feet.

"Shhh," a voice whispered unnecessarily. It was quiet, wasn't it?

Another voice muttered,

"I think his wrist is broken."

Warren forced his eyes open, squinting in the dim light.

"Tanu? Elise?" he called out, louder than he intended. Why was the world spinning? He forced himself to stand without help.

"I need to call Stan," he whispered.

Tanu stared at him, concerned.

"You need to go to a hospital."

"Wait." Elise pushed Tanu aside, her eyes wide," Are you okay?"

"I need to talk to Stan, please." Warren's voice broke.

"Warren, we need to know if everyone's alright first."

After all the Knights had done to keep Kendra alive, she was gone. He had failed to protect her. _It's all your fault. Tell them!_

No one was alright. Kendra was dead. Seth was heartbroken. They were all powerless and it was all his fault. And for the first time that night, Warren let himself mourn. Mourn for everyone, but himself.

Even now, after the funeral, he felt something pressing on his chest, holding back every breath. After hearing his story from Elise, everyone had thought that Kendra was dead. But now, Trask had unearthed the tiniest piece of evidence that suggested that Kendra was alive. His heart thundered in his ears, but he didn't dare let himself hope. The universe didn't give second chances easily, but he was willing to do whatever it took.

His phone pinged again and a text popped up below the search details.

**Don't blame yourself**, it read. He sighed, shut off his phone and slipped it into his pocket. He would stop blaming himself when Kendra was home, alive and well. Until then... Well, until then, he'd just have to keep searching. Keep searching to save Kendra, save the world, and maybe, just maybe, he'd save himself.

* * *

Warren blinked hard, forcing himself to shut his gritty eyes for a second. His eyes had stopped burning with guilt and shame a few hours ago and now he was running on a good dose of desperation. Desperation and a sizable amount of coffee. It was almost four in the morning and all of them were running on fumes. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. They had been combing the streets of the small town for hours and hadn't found squat. The search was beginning to feel hopeless again.

Warren's walkie talkie crackled with feedback and he snatched it up. Trask's deep, calm voice didn't sound too excited, but it was something.

"I think I see something. I could use some people again, the corner of Fifth and Maple."

Mouth dry, Warren pushed a button and said,

"Copy that, does it look like her, though?"

Even over the cheap devices they were using in case the Society had tapped their phones, Warren could hear his friend's exasperation.

"Warren, I didn't know the last two times and they turned out to be a senile old lady and a really early morning jogger."

He paused for a second.

"Whoever they are, they're moving. I'll call back."

Warren glared daggers at the road, but still dropped the walkie talkie and made a u turn.

He couldn't stay mad at Trask for long, though. He was still too angry at himself at this point.

Warren hated the town of Monmouth with its expensive manor houses encircled by cheaper more rundown ones. The street Trask was calling him to was in the poorer district of the town.

Suddenly, his cell rang. Warren jumped in surprise and then pulled his phone out of his inner jacket pocket. They had all agreed to use walkie talkies because they were easier to get rid of if the Society was listening in. If someone was calling him on their phones...

Switching the car to park, he swiped a finger across the screen, accepting the call from Trask.

"What did you find?" he asked in place of a greeting.

"I thought I told you to meet me on Fifth and Maple," Trask commented in a steely voice.

Warren pressed his lips together. He wasn't really in the mood to be chewed out by his friend.

"Did you actually find something, or just call to remind me of my mistakes?"

"Warren, that's not-" he sighed,"I found her."

Warren froze, not even daring to breathe.

"She's okay. A little tired, but-"

Warren hung up and covered the lower portion of his face with his hands. She was okay._It's your fault!_ She was safe. _She was a prisoner!_ His breath was coming in quick short bursts through his nose and he could, just couldn't get enough air into his lungs. His breath was coming too fast, and he wasn't getting enough air and he was going to drown but that was okay, because he deserved it. He deserved it because he had killed his cousin and let his cousin get kidnapped and who knows what else and he couldn't figure out which was worse.

Then abruptly, he could breathe again. Greedily, he sucked in deep breaths, rubbing his watering eyes. A buzz below him indicated he had gotten a text, but he ignored it, just focusing on his breathing. This was over, he tried to convince himself. Another few texts buzzed, urgently now, and Warren picked up the phone, rubbing bloodshot eyes.

MEET AT RENDEZVOUS POINT, the first one from Trask read. The other texts were from Stan, thanking all of them for finding his granddaughter. *Of course, they wouldn't have needed to find her if Warren hadn't lost her in the first place.*

Nonetheless, he dropped his phone into the passenger seat and started the car back up.

The rendezvous point was a dingy motel on the edge of town. Warren could spot Trask's silver sedan in front of the building and Dougan's battered pick-up further down the street. He couldn't find Elise's dented two-seater anywhere, but she was probably inside already.

Warren took a deep breath and slowly got out of his parked car. Before he had time to doubt himself, he crossed the parking lot and tapped his knuckles gently on room 17.

"Password?" a muffled voice asked him.

"Dawn," Warren muttered tersely, pulling his jacket tighter around him. He was sick of these passwords.

The door swung open and Elise gave him a big smile.

"She's okay, Warren."

Warren forced a smile on his face and nodded.

Trask waved him in and gestured to the bed.

"She just fell asleep, but the first thing she was if you and Seth were okay.

Trask was watching his face carefully, as if waiting for him to break down.*Like he had before.*

"That's really good," Warren said, not even having to fake his smile anymore.

Then, he glanced at the bed and all the color drained out of his face. Kendra looked exactly as she had when she had died, hair spread lightly against the white sheets. Then her eyes popped open and all similarities flew out of the window, because she was okay.

"Warren!" she jumped out of bed and gave him a tight hug.

Dumbly, he just stood there, not hugging her back, not doing anything, just staring at how incredibly *alive* she was. She pulled out of the hug after a bit, a concerned look on her face.

"The stingbulb that they made of me. The other Kendra. Did it hurt Seth or Mom or Dad? Are they okay? Are you okay?"

"It's all okay," he soothed, "She didn't hurt us."

As if reading his mind, Kendra nodded.

"Trask told me about the funeral and everything that happened. I bet Seth would think it's incredibly cool that I've got my own tombstone," she smiled slightly.

"After he knows you're okay," Warren added, and then kicked himself for ruining the happy moment.

Trask gave him a searching look, but spoke as if he hadn't spoken.

"You'll be able to see Seth in a few days. He's been relocated to Fablehaven, given the events of the previous weeks. We'll spend the night here and then drive up. It'll take about two days, so you'll want to rest up."

Kendra nodded in agreement.

"The Sphinx sa-" she started, but Elise cut her off apologetically.

"We probably shouldn't mentions his name in town, just in case he has some way of tracking us with it. You can tell Warren on the road."

"Okay, but what now? I just go back to sleep? Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Kendra, you just broke out of the prison of our greatest enemy," Warren said, not adding the *because of me* that he was tempted to. "If anyone deserves some rest, it's you."

"I can't just rest because I was with the Society! All of you have been working around the clock trying to find me, and I've been sitting in that "prison" playing chess and getting my hair done!"

She looked around the room and then said, quieter,

"I just want to do something useful. It's not like I got hurt or anything, and all of you look more tired than I do. I know where the Society is right now. We could capture them!"

"You didn't get hurt?" Warren asked angrily, "That's right, you didn't get hurt, you died!"

"Warren-" Elise began.

"I'm not the one who died, Warren! If we don't stop the Society here, people will actually die, and that'll be on all of us!"

Trask stepped in.

"Elise, Dougan, could you two set up watch outside?" They nodded and left. Warren glared at the floor.

"Kendra, I understand your thinking, but we can't risk what we already have. And- no-"

He held up his hands as both Warren and Kendra started to speak.

"I don't mean just you, Kendra, our source in the Society is a valuable asset, and we can't risk getting them hurt. We don't have the manpower or energy for a raid, either."

Kendra nodded, suddenly looking exhausted.

"Sorry. I just don't want- I don't want to feel like I had to sit around and be rescued. It's my fault that we're here, so I wish something good would come out of it."

Warren stared at her.

"It's not your fault we're here," he muttered, "I'm the one who let you get taken."

"You weren't even guarding me when I was abducted. And there was no way anyone could have figured it out. We didn't know about stingbulbs. It wasn't your fault, Warren."

Warren felt a nervous hum in his stomach, but forced himself to speak.

"I'm responsible for you and your brother's safety. You killed yourself in front of me and Seth," Warren said quietly,"Did Trask tell you about that?"

Ignoring Kendra's wide eyes and Trask's glare, Warren stepped out of the motel room, taking deep breaths. He heard quiet footsteps next to him, but didn't turn his head to see Elise, who laid a hand on his shoulder.

"You know," she comforted quietly, "No one here hates you."

Warren laughed, even though there was nothing funny about the situation.

"I'm pretty sure Trask does. I don't blame him."

"It wasn't y-"

"Oh, please!" Warren exclaimed, suddenly annoyed and exhausted and just so so tired to deal with an obvious lie.

"If it wasn't my fault, whose was it? Kendra, for getting captured? Seth, for not realizing sooner? Stan, for putting them in that situation?"

"Warren..."

"Or maybe it was you. After all, you were the one guarding her when she got abducted. So if it's not my fault, it's yours?"

Elise's expression shut down, as if someone had thrown a mask over it.

"I was trying to help," she said in a blank voice, then pushed past him into the room, slamming the door behind her.

Warren sighed and ran a hand over his face. He hadn't meant that at all. He couldn't blame Elise. She had done all that she could. He, on the other hand, had been so convinced that Kendra and Seth were okay that he hadn't stopped to consider any possibilities. And that was what bothered him most. Not that Kendra had tried to kill herself in front of him, but that she succeeded. And the next time that anything happened to Kendra, the real Kendra, he wouldn't be able to help her. He had failed everyone.

And that was why he hated himself most of all.

Being a Knight of Dawn wasn't something you could easily quit from. His very first assignment had gone wrong, of course. Instead of protecting and deporting the yeti that had been attacked a few times by illegal hunters, he had let the yeti trample them. In his defense, those guys had been jerks. That wasn't even touching on his worst failures, and his personal favorite, getting turned into an albino and losing years of his life. He had dreams about that, dreams of being trapped in his own mind with almost no knowledge, dreams that had him waking up in a cold sweat. He owed Kendra and Seth his life for pulling him out of that, but that wasn't why he protected them. He wasn't close with much of his family but Dale, and even though the Burgesses and Sorensons were only obscurely related, they had practically become his family.

Most other people his age woke up at the same time every day to get to their cubicle that they left at the same time every day. Of course, they could always sleep easily on their home. Warren, on the hand, didn't go to sleep some nights, and was currently freeloading off of his brother because he didn't have a job or money. Or a home.

He wouldn't change it for the world, though. It didn't matter if the biggest problem was fighting a spear wielding maniac, or getting stuck in traffic during long drive, he was a freaking magical warrior. He would give anything, he'd go anywhere to stay one, as long as the people he loved were safe. If he couldn't protect them, he would replace himself in a heartbeat. He had been grateful to Stan for putting him on the search, but he wouldn't have done it himself.

Drumming his fingers against his thigh, Warren shivered slightly, pulling himself of his trance. Everyone was exhausted, but they weren't tired enough to leave themselves unprotected in a town of the Society. After driving for an hour in the wrong direction to throw off any followers, they had stopped at a slightly better hotel. Elise had gone to grab breakfast, ruffling his hair apologetically before she hopped out of the car.

She had also woken him up, but that was okay.

Now, he leaned near the outside door of the room, guarding it. Dougan had headed off on another assignment, but Trask was outside, sweeping the perimeter. Kendra poked her head out.

"When are we going to leave for Fablehaven?" she asked curiously.

Warren shrugged.

"Maybe around noon? It's going to take two days."

Kendra nodded and then suddenly asked,

"Everyone knows I'm alive, right?"

Warren furrowed his brow.

"Seth and your grandparents know."

"What about my parents, my friends? Do they know?"

Warren shook his head slightly.

"Kendra...," he began gently, "We buried you. There's no way anyone can come back from the dead. That stingbulb *was* you. The DNA checked out and everything. There's no way to prove that you're not dead, short of magic."

"But that's how it happened!"

"I know. But short of exposing the magical world, there's not much we can do."

"So what?" Kendra wiped at her eyes angrily, "I'm just supposed to be dead for the rest of my life?"

Warren sighed.

"I don't have any good answers for you, and I'm sorry, which probably doesn't help much."

"It doesn't really," Kendra admitted, "but this isn't your fault. Torina, the person who kidnapped me, told me that stingbulbs die in a few days anyway."

Warren froze.

"So they planted a fake you knowing that it was going to die in a few days?" he asked.

Kendra nodded.

A laugh burst through his lips.

"That's... Seriously twisted."

"You're telling me about it."

She motioned into the room.

"You should guard the room from the inside. It's freezing in the halls,"

Warren rolled his eyes.

"It's too warm in there. I'd probably collapse on the bed and fall asleep."

"You're as dramatic as Seth!"Kendra laughed, "Honestly though, you look like you could use the sleep. Have you slept since the stingbulb died?"

"Not really. I just- I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you're alive. I mean, I watched you die. You started choking and-"

He shook his head.

"You don't need to hear that."

Kendra plopped on the ground, crossed her legs, and looked up at him.

"There was nothing anyone could have done," she maintained, bumping her knee against his leg, "if there was, you would have done it."

"But what if something like this happens again?" Warren asked, hating his voice for shaking, "I still won't be able to save you."

"I don't think anything 'like this' is going to happen anytime soon," Kendra pointed out, " I'm not going to poison myself again. And don't worry-"

She stood up, dusting herself off.

"Thank you."

"Sorry?" Warren asked, taken aback, "For what, exactly?"

He jumped up and followed her into the room.

"When Trask debriefed me, he told me everything that happened. If the stingbulb had died just in front of Seth, the Society would have broken him. And you never gave up. Even before the funeral, before you knew anything about the abduction, you tried to find me."

"Anyone would do that!" Warren argued, peeking into the empty mini fridge, " I was just trying to save you."

" No one else would do that, Warren. Everyone thought I was dead. But you didn't believe that once."

Warren snorted.

"More like I'd have a mental breakdown if I believed it," Warren grumbled under his breath.

"Don't you see? That's why I trust you," she smiled at him, then sat on the bed, "You'll never give up on me. Even if anything does happen to me. That's the best thing anyone can hope for."

Warren took a deep breath and shifted his weight.

"You really believe that?""

Kendra nodded.

"Definitely."

Warren gave a slight smile and rubbed his eyes.

"C'mere," he held out his arms door a hug. Kendra hadn't died, and he hadn't let her down. He would make sure those things were always a constant. He would never forget how he had failed here, but he would forgive himself. And sometimes, family is all you need to be happy.

"Kendra?"

"Yeah, Warren?"

"I'm really glad you're not dead."

"Me too."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
